Redneck Computer Lingo
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Serial port
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A red wine you drink with breakfast.
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Hard drive
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Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and
pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
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bug
- The reason you give for calling in sick.
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Keyboard
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Place to hang your truck keys.
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Floppy
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When you run out of Polygrip.
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SCSI
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What you call your week-old underwear.
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Modem
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How you got rid of your dandelions.
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ROM
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1 Delicious when you mix it with Coca-Cola 2 Where the
pope lives.
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Byte
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First word in a kiss-off phrase.
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Reboot
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What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard
stuff.
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Mouse
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Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to
get a free case.
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Mouse pad
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Where Mickey and Minnie live.
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LAN
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To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
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online
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Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.
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Cursor
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What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or
girlfriend.
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cache
- Needed when you run out of food stamps.
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bit
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A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed
across the porch longways."
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digital control
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What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
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packet
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What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.
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megahertz
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How your head feels after 17 beers.
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backup
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What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
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bar code
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Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
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Superconductor
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Amtrak's employee of the year.
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Author: drclull@webtv.net (Doc L)
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